Semi-ranty tips on how to receive communion.

1) WASH YOUR FREAKING HANDS!
If you receive communion in the hands, please wash your hands. There's nothing like seeing someone come up for communion with visibly dirty hands. You know that you'll see in a lot of ancient churches, in many of the Roman basilicas, that the holy water fonts are huge. More like deep basins than little bowlettes. This was because the faithful would wash their hands in he water before the liturgy so at they could receive communion with outwardly clean hands. (One of the many things that some of those behind the movement for communion in the hand apparrently did not like about how i was originally done, and thus did not restore.)
A freind of mine keeps some Purell in her bag and washes her hands with it at the Agnus Dei.
Go and do likewise.

2) CLEAN YOUR FREAKING MOUTHS!
If you receive communion on the toungue, pleas take the time to brush your teeth before mass. No one wants to see what you had for breakfast or dinner stiking all about your teeth when you receive communion. Get some Listerine and wash your mouth too. No one wants to smell said food, along with countless other unpleasant odours when you receive communion.

3) MAKE IT CLEAR HOW YOU'RE RECEIVING!
Please make it clear so the preist and theh server with the communion paten is'nt left guessing. Fold your hands a waist level if you're receiving on te toungue, and at chest level already folded if your receiving on the hands. Please Don't fold your hands at chin level if you're receiving on the tougue, as it makes it impossible for the server to put the communion paten under your chin.
And please Don't put your hands at waist level if you're receiving in the hands, as the server often ends up iting the ciborium of your hands with the paten when they are that low.

4) PLEASE CONSUME THE HOST IN FRONT OF US!
Sheesh, I can only run nervously after some dimwit person who deciedes to casually pluck the host in their mouth at some point between the altar and their pew before I'm racking up sins.
Just make it abundantly clear as much as you can that you do plan to eat the host . Follow the law and put the host in your mouth immediaely, while in the prescence of the priest and his server. Same goes if you receive on the toungue. Make it abundantly clear as much as you can that you do plan to eat the host .

5) STICK OUT YOUR TOUNGUE!
Don't just make a tiny little slit with your mouth. Open it as much as you can, and stick out your toungue as much as possible, or the host won't fit.

6) ALWAYS USE BOTH HANDS!
If you can't, then jus receive on the toungue, I's unsafe to receive in the hands if you don't have both hands, as it's too easily for you to drop the host/not hold it properly/not be able to put it in your mouth properly.

8) Don't forget the sign of reverance!
Unless you receive communion kneeling, you have to bow or genuflect in adoration before receiving communion. Just the rules.

Just me rambling after serving mass again and taking greif from communicants. [/semi-ranty directions.]