Monday, June 22, 2009

And Joe tries to get started on life.

So, yesterday after mass yesterday, I asked Fr.James what to do now that I have the requisite high school diploma, and he told me to talk Fr. Matthew, which I forgot to do, but will do next Sunday.  I've actually been planning this for several weeks, but I get cold feet at the last minute, for obvious reasons. Seeing as how I'm the only Catholic in my anti-Catholic Pentecostal family, for me to go off and join a monastery is probably the worst thing I could do. To tell the truth, they don't even know that I left protestantism for catholicism years ago. They think that I'm just a non-church going backslidden christian. So yeah, lolshockvalue. That, and all my family are ordained ministrs in various churches, some well known in the neighborhood, so when this gets out, i'll really be out.

Part of me already knows the two possible reactions. 

1) "You're a preacher's kid, so it's natural for you to rebel eventually. It's just a phase you'll grow out of." Or:

2) "You're all on hard times, and you're just trying to escape your life. It's just a phase you'll grow out of."

Neither is really true. I've been formulating my approach. The easiest way would be to wait till there's an argument, and bring it up. They'll be distracted and I still get the message out. I bring up that my dad always says that when I was dedicated to God as an infant, the minister prophecied that I would be in ministry, something that if it happenned, turned out to be true. (With a shocking twist!)  I then say in my most respectfull manner that I'm not asking their permission, I'm telling them what I'm doing with my life.

That all happens the night before I leave to go to my postulancy. That of course is'nt as hard as finding the right order. I'm looking for one not entirely stuck in 1970's  pseudo-liberalism, dissent, outdated theology and practice. It should have a habit worn in public, communal office and devotions. If anyone's read Michael Rose's 'Goodbye, good men" , ( As polemic as it may be, it does contain some truth.) they should have an idea of what I'm avoiding. 

That said, I've narrowed it down to these five possible orders: 

Order of Our Lady of Mercy

Fathers of Mercy

Trappists of Saint Joseph's Abbey

Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate

Cistercians of Spring Bank Abbey

Now, since the Mercedarians are the easiest to travel to, I'll try them first.

*ETA* And I'm going over for a visit today.

*ETA again* And I'm spending three days at the monastery starting this Thursday. I'll make a formal reqgest and begin my application. Please pray for me so that I'll be brave enough to tell mom and pop what I'm doing, because I'm so scared I feel like I need to binge on junk food to calm down.


Catholic Teen said...

Very Interesting! What draws you to the monestery?

Although I did not know that none of your family was Catholic.. and that most didn't know you are. How did you come to the faith? Or rather, if it is too personally-- simply dissregard my asking. =D

I will be praying for you-- and your family. =D

Caedmon said...

Prayerful thoughts & thoughtful prayers go with you in your discernment. Give your potential family reactions to the Lord and not to the junk-food binging. Laus Deo Semper!

Joe S.R. said...

They are an solid, orthodox order with an amazing history who live a traditional communal life with an emphasis on Our Blessed Lady. The fact that they often use Latin in their own services is a plus, and they run my parish, which has it's own reputation for solid catechesis, preaching, and liturgy. It's seemingly perfect.
I'll probably tell my conversion story in a later post, because it's long.

Thanks for the prayers, and the junk food was a little inside joke I have.