So, yesterday after mass yesterday, I asked Fr.James what to do now that I have the requisite high school diploma, and he told me to talk Fr. Matthew, which I forgot to do, but will do next Sunday. I've actually been planning this for several weeks, but I get cold feet at the last minute, for obvious reasons. Seeing as how I'm the only Catholic in my anti-Catholic Pentecostal family, for me to go off and join a monastery is probably the worst thing I could do. To tell the truth, they don't even know that I left protestantism for catholicism years ago. They think that I'm just a non-church going backslidden christian. So yeah, lolshockvalue. That, and all my family are ordained ministrs in various churches, some well known in the neighborhood, so when this gets out, i'll really be out.
Part of me already knows the two possible reactions.
1) "You're a preacher's kid, so it's natural for you to rebel eventually. It's just a phase you'll grow out of." Or:
2) "You're all on hard times, and you're just trying to escape your life. It's just a phase you'll grow out of."
Neither is really true. I've been formulating my approach. The easiest way would be to wait till there's an argument, and bring it up. They'll be distracted and I still get the message out. I bring up that my dad always says that when I was dedicated to God as an infant, the minister prophecied that I would be in ministry, something that if it happenned, turned out to be true. (With a shocking twist!) I then say in my most respectfull manner that I'm not asking their permission, I'm telling them what I'm doing with my life.
That all happens the night before I leave to go to my postulancy. That of course is'nt as hard as finding the right order. I'm looking for one not entirely stuck in 1970's pseudo-liberalism, dissent, outdated theology and practice. It should have a habit worn in public, communal office and devotions. If anyone's read Michael Rose's 'Goodbye, good men" , ( As polemic as it may be, it does contain some truth.) they should have an idea of what I'm avoiding.
That said, I've narrowed it down to these five possible orders:
Now, since the Mercedarians are the easiest to travel to, I'll try them first.
*ETA* And I'm going over for a visit today.
*ETA again* And I'm spending three days at the monastery starting this Thursday. I'll make a formal reqgest and begin my application. Please pray for me so that I'll be brave enough to tell mom and pop what I'm doing, because I'm so scared I feel like I need to binge on junk food to calm down.