Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Sometime Joe does really morbid things..

...Like plan his own funeral.  Well, having served many, many funerals, I can confidently say that I've seen enough not to leave it up to anyone except me, I've seen so much silly and stupid stuff done. So, this is what I'd like:

Chants from the 74' Roman gradual except the reponsorial psalm.

hymn at the entrance: O God our help in ages past.

Mass setting: A setting in English that I'm eventually going to write.

Psalm: Psalm 27, chanted through to the tonus peregrinus

Offertory:  Motet: I heard a voice from heaven say, Thomas Tomkins. hymn: Be thou my vision

Communion: Psalm 66, chanted in English to the 3rd tone with ending B in the Liber Usualis, given for psalm 115, Credidi propter quod locutus sum. hymn: Jerusalem, my happy home. (Westminster hymnal version.) Motet: Ave verum corpus, Edward Elgar.

Recessional: Nunc Dimittus, chanted in English to Tone 8g given in the Liber Usualis.

That's for music, which you know is my thing. Now for the homily, don't canonize me. I'll be temporarily raised just long enough to clobber the priest who does it anyway. Instead, speak of about how if I was a faithful Christian, I can look forward to the union with God and his saints in heaven for eternity after a my purgatory is done. Therefore, everyone should offer up rosaries, novenas, and penances on my behalf if they want me to enjoy that blessedness sooner. If, and only if, a eulogy must be given, (and I really don't want one because trust me, they'd have to leave out a lot of stuff to make me look goood) It can be given at the grave before I'm commended and buried.

Don't do anything outside of these lines. Or else,I'll come back and get you.

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