Monday, August 16, 2010

This is why I'll never be a saint.

So yesterday morning, I was getting sick. I figured I'd be fine, so I went ahead and started singing lauds anyway. I got to the third verse of the Benedicite and then I thought to myself; "OH EM GEE IF I DON'T GET SOME MEDICATION NOW I'M GOING TO GET AN ALLERGY ATTACK AND I'M GOING TO DIE." So, I made the cross,put out the candles and went to Walgreens to buy some Alavert, my favourite brand of allergy medication. First, the type I generally buy is not there. I like the allermelts because I suck at taking pills, but those they did not have. I sucked it up and grabbed the box of pills and made my way to the registers.

Interesting thing that, because there were NO PEOPLE AT THE REGISTERS. So I thought, "Maybe there's someone in the cosmetics department." NO ONE. Then I thought, "Maybe there's someone in the photography department." NO ONE. Then I thought, "Let's try the Pharmacy." NO ONE. So I aimlessly walked around the store for about 2:30 .Finally, a guy about my age walked over to the registers. And despite the fact that I had been the only person in the store, Our Lady worked a miracle in honour of her Assumption, because the minute I got there, a queue of about 15 people shows up out of nowhere.

"FINE!" I thought, "I wanted to take money out of the ATM to pay for this anyway!" So I walk over to the ATM, where no one was, and about one foot before I got there, some lady miraculously appears out of nowhere, and proceeds to attempt to take money out. I say "Attempt" because she obviously had no idea what she was doing. Six minutes later (Yes, I counted) she finished, and I get my money out and go over to the register. When I got there, I was like "Sweet! Only two people in front of me!" What I did not factor in was how the person in front would go about purchasing their items. They had a cart full of them.

And they proceeded to pay for each one.


With a receipt after each one.

And with coupons.

Did I mention that to get the coupons, they were slowly looking through a circular to find ones for whatever items they had?
Did I mention that the were slowly ripping them out so that the edges were clean,neat, and even*?

Ten minutes later (Yes, I counted again) The finished, I bought my medicine, and I was out.
Did I mention that I suck at taking pills? I ruined the first one by having a scrap with it as we fought over whether or not it was going to be swallowed. Stupid uppity pill. I tried the next one, which nearly ended in victory, only the casing got too wet, broke open, and I got to taste the lovely tasting chemicals and drugs that are inside pills. Yummy. I washed it down with some water, but then I thought that that might not count, even if I did technically swallow what was in the pill.
The third one and I got along pretty well. I used tea to get it down, and finally got it to go down.
Some day I'm going to have to get around this inability to take pills. It's not just me though: Neither me nor my Father, two of my aunts, three of my cousins, my maternal grandmother, and one of my cats** can take pills.

*I should'nt complain about this, because, being obsessive compulsive, I probably would have done the same thing.

**Though eventually, my skills kicked in and I can get just about any of the cats we've ever had to take their pills. Even the kittens. Even Brutus, the aggressive kitten.

For those who don't know this meme/get the reference: THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

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